losing the love weight

I can't say I wasn't warned, but when I put on some weight after Mr. Y Not and I started dating I assumed it was very temporary. You know, like it was holiday weight that would go away naturally. No? That's not how it works? Well, needless to say, spending more time with him, less (way less) at the gym, eating out more, and eating Mr. Y Not portion sized meals (have I told you that he is 6'6" and has the metabolism of a 5 yr old?) has not bode well for me. My clothes are tighter and I just don't feel good in general.

So! I'm doing something about it. I have never been, nor do I think I will ever be (unless very desperate), your normal dieting person. Not entirely sure how to explain this, but I don't like your typical diet regimens. Counting calories? I don't have the patience to look up everything I eat. Cutting carbs? PLEASE! Like this girl can stay away from her bread and potatoes. Vegetarian? LAUGHABLE! Not only am I a potato girl, I'm also DEFINITELY a meat girl. Especially red meat, the bloodier the better. I don't think I'd ever like diets like Nutrisystem where you have to eat the meals that they send you. They're all frozen not very high quality foods (I think, never actually had one). Also, they make it seem like this is the food you will have to stay on because once you stop you'll gain all of the weight back.

Here is where I become a semi-hypocrite. I'm doing the Special K Challenge. If you don't already know, here is how it goes. You replace two meals (usually breakfast and then either lunch or dinner) with one of the Special K foods like cereal or a protein bar. Then you get one full healthy meal a day. In between you can have two snacks of their cracker chips, cereal bars, fruit bars, or crackers. Also, you can eat all the fruits and veggies you want.

Yes, I realize this means I am cutting things out of my diet. But not entirely because I can still have a healthy meat and potatoes dinner. I'm also committing to one brand of food for most of the day. This I will admit is something that bugs me a little, but I'm ignoring it. They created this plan to make more money and have you buy more of their stuff, I get it. It worked on me!

However, it only lasts for two weeks. I have done this before and did lose the 6 pounds they advertise. I'm not necessarily expecting the same results this time (no more gym membership), but have hope. I truly like my veggies and fruit and they taste even better when all you've had all day is cereal! Haha, I'm not joking...

One thing I don't remember from the last time is feeling this much pang towards the foods I'm not allowed. All of the food commercials that come on, I want it! When a coworker talks about the delicious cheesecake in the break room, I have to pass. This protein bar that I'm clenching is about all I get. sigh...

After this, I will still have to work to lose the "love weight" as I like to call it. That will involve in general eating healthier and taking correct portion sizes. I have to remember when I'm eating meals with Mr. Y Not that his body needs and can handle a lot more food than mine. Eventually I will join the gym again, but until then I am doing some workouts at home.

For now, I'm going to go drool at the cheeseburger on TV.

lessons earned

WARNING: This post ended up being longer than I thought

Let's talk about education. More specifically, education in the dating world. Before Mr. Y Not I dated some, although never had a serious relationship. However, I still learned something from each guy. Every one of these lessons showed me what I really want (and don't want) in a life partner. They also helped open me up and accept another person into my life.

Here are the lessons that I learned along the way (in no specific order, and each number does not necessarily represent one person).

#1 taught me to be more a part of the relationship; this is hard to explain without going into one of the few details of our “relationship” that I always think back to. I was 15, he asked me to join him for his track event one day, and I didn’t go. I had reasons that I felt were justified, but I didn’t tell him what those were. Even though that only lasted 3 weeks, I pin point that occurrence as one of the reasons we didn’t work out. (And, hello, I was 15! It wouldn’t have lasted anyway)

#2 finally taught me to talk about anything. This dude seriously NEVER shut up. Our first date lasted 5 hours, not because it was anything fantastic, but because he wouldn’t stop talking! It wasn’t always interesting either. But, I finally got the hint that I don’t have to keep my thoughts in, I can share them with my partner.

#3 taught me that I deserve better. He wasn’t there for me, and he didn’t really care at all about building a relationship together. Eventually I accepted this (although I admit it took longer than it should have).

#4 is a lesson I learned later, but relates back to this person. I was really picky about the smallest things, with this guy, I didn’t like his face. Now, it wasn’t that he had a massive mole on the tip of his nose or that he had a third eye. There wasn’t anything wrong with his face, I just came to the conclusion that it looked too plastic. Yes, too plastic. It was like he had just gotten Botox or something and his face never showed emotion. I eventually realized I was petty to even list this as a flaw, and that no one is perfect.

#5 taught me that just because I like some country music, that doesn’t mean I should date a cowboy. (oh wait, #4 Plastic Face was also a cowboy)

#6 taught me that I wanted someone who was responsible and financially stable. Even though money can't buy you love, I like to know that my man can take care of me.

#7 taught me to just go for it! Alright, this was the result of more than one guy that I didn’t give a chance to. My friends would tell me “so-and-so likes you, do you like him?” For some reason I always got defensive and said no, even if I didn’t really know the person. I needed to give these guys a chance so that I could learn lessons like everything above.

My list of what I was looking for in a guy became something like this:

• Taller than me (this has been on my list FOREVER, and let's admit, it's not too difficult to find)

• Makes me laugh

• Honesty (a HUGE requirement for me)

• No games (this goes along with the honesty, but I've had guys play the game with me and I was so over it! I vowed to be so open with my guy that I could tell him ANYTHING.)

• Makes me/our relationship a priority

• Responsibility/Financially stable (see above)

I'm sure there was more, but not that I can think of at this moment. This list, along with the lessons I had learned eventually led me to Mr. Y Not. Why? Y Not? (hehe, I've been wanting to do that!)

Mr. Y Not is 6'6”, big fat check mark on the taller than me requirement. We laugh together, and he definitely has the responsibility and financial stability down pat. Since I held honesty as such a high priority, he knew about this before we even met in person (have I mentioned that we met online yet?). We tell each other anything which goes along with no games. This telling each other anything has proved very valuable in our relationship. I believe this is why we don't fight (yes, I know, everyone says that we will fight eventually. While I'd like to think that we will keep up our streak, we both understand that there could be a fight at some point.), whoa, long tangent. Anyway, we disagree once in awhile, but we discuss it rather than argue.

I am the #1 priority in Mr. Y Not's life. Let me explain how this came to be so important. This goes along with #3 from above. This person played a lot of video games and a common occurrence would be me going to visit him, and him playing a game for HOURS, leaving me to fend for myself. Mr. Y Not is also a gamer, but it doesn't cause a problem for us. This is entirely because he makes our relationship a priority. He still gets plenty of time to play his games, it just doesn't have to happen during our time together.

Are there things I would change about our relationship? Yes. However, there are only 2 things I would change if I could. I don't want to go into them, but they are out of our control. Besides, I'd say 2 things is pretty small a number.

I could go on about all of the things I love about Mr. Y Not, but this post was more about the lessons I've learned along the way and how they have played into my current relationship, besides it's gotten long enough already. He is a fantastic person who has proved time and again that we are a great match. He meets my requirements and then some.